Thankful and Grateful - Outside of the Box

Many years back, when my children were small, a friend of mine from our homeschool group mentioned something to me that welded to my heart. The words she spoke penetrated within me... as if to first pierce, then melt, an eternal emotion into my heart. 

We had been talking about curriculum, and different academic study material, when my friend Chris said: “I am working on teaching my children gratefulness.”  At that time I too was working on “character building” with my young daughters, and we had covered the basics like honesty, integrity, kindness, joy, patience…. But the word “gratefulness” began to ring a mighty gong. My mind flooded with thought.  It was as if a bright light opened a door into my soul, uncovering the missing partner, of who we already knew, thanksgiving.

For the next several weeks I pondered on this word: GrateFULLness… GRATEfulness…  Grat-it-ude...

Grateful: Full of gratitude.   I had taught my children to be thankful, and we often studied “Thanksgiving” … It was important to us to look back in American History to the pilgrims and William Bradford’s first Thanksgiving.  Since we are in the direct blood line of Bradford, and he was our great-grandfather generations back, I took painstaking effort to teach my children their heritage, and thanksgiving was just that.

We taught our children about “Giving Thanks,” and being thankful in all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18)... Often reminding them to look for the positives in every situation… Training their little minds to think about how thankful we need to be … and reminding them that in all of the bad situations we encounter, it could always be worse….   But that day I discovered a key element that was missing…. Gratefulness, a partner for thanksgiving…  a soul mate.    

After my brief encounter with my friend, and the amazing, sometimes mind boggling, truth of Gratitude, we search and find what is good in everything.  In every heart-break, every troubled pain, if you search your heart, you will find a positive in every situation.  When the word “gratitude” was breathed into my heart, I knew there was more to thanksgiving, and I just discovered its life-long partner.  Because gratitude is a life-style that we practice, and perfect, and never let it go. 

Now bringing you up to 2012, the last of my six children are almost grown, and I am reminded once again to practice gratitude.  As I mourn the age where little foot-steps no longer patter through the house, and giggles and squeals have quieted, and busy lives overshadow the little things in life to be thankful for, I embrace a sense of gratitude for the time God blessed me with.  I prepare for a new season, a new equinox of motherhood. 

A season changing....  Then along the sojourn of mothering, the Lord sends another friend to cross my path... This friend, limping along, in pain, is obviously sent my way to slow me down…  to remind me once again that there is so much more to be thankful for.  Sure enough, this friend who sometimes shares her pain, a reciprocal exchange, comes with blessings, with a “gift” to share.... 

This day, it's a tangible gift....  She blesses me with a book: “one thousand gifts”

Here again I’m re-introduced to thanksgiving’s life-long partner… the partner I remember courting for myself, “Gratitude”…. Through this book, this gift from a friend, Gratitude is resuscitated back into me.  This one little gift once again opens up my blurry eyes to the world around me… I see the birds on my deck, and enjoy the color they bring the backdrop of snow… instead of grumbling at the cold, I marvel at the crystals of ice reflecting the sun, blue.  Instead of dwelling on the torn blue-jeans, I despise on my teen, my heart warms at the sparkle in her eye, and the warmth of her smile. 

Thankful and Grateful… Partners for Life.  Thankful and Grateful for every friend God crosses on my path… Thankful and Grateful for every eye opening experience… Thankful and Grateful for every pain, that helps me grow eternally… Thankful and Grateful for the rain, for the snow, for the beaten down weary pathway… Thankful and Grateful dancing together in my mind... in the sunsets, through the storms, the calm, the breath on my face from my daughter's laughter.

Thankful for women like Ann Voskamp … a pig farmers wife, with six kids, who “dares to live fully,” right where she is at.  Thankful for my own six children who grow me…. my friends who aren’t afraid to be “real,” and share their pain, and accept help sweeping it all back up into a pile of broken pieces, and a willingness to restore.

Thank you dear friends, I am so thankful for you..  FULL of gratitude: GRATEFUL for you.

P.S ~ Especially thankful for my English teacher-friend... who encourages me, and has allowed me to open up more, and write... "outside of the box."  :-)

Broken Pieces

It’s been a while since these fingers could rest upon this keyboard for the sole purpose of joy-filled writing.  Busy with life, raising and educating children, entering the final leg of a 38 year journey [five years to go]…. I take time to breath, step back, and refocus. 

As I peruse through a few of my last blogs, to see where my journaling left off in the path down motherhood, I have to giggle... As I can see, sometimes I make my husband sound like superman, a perfect husband in every way… but the truth is he’s not... Nor am I, for that matter.  In-fact, I've been the furthest from perfect.  However, as I think back through the months, I remember why I blogged those uplifting words to my husband, and for my children.  Because I know that words can either tear down, or build up; and I knew my husband had recently had enough tearing down in his life… and it's specially hurtful is when a man tears down another man.

When a man, or woman, sit in judgment over another they cast judgment upon themselves… tearing down another man will only lead to their own demise.  However, in the path of destruction beautiful pieces of rubble can be uncovered… Colorful pieces… Pieces you haven’t seen in a long time…. You see, when we are forced to examine the crumbled pieces, we can look at the individual, colorful, segmented snippets… We can see where the strength is, and where the weak-points were…. we can start to put broken pieces back together, mend and heal, and become even stronger. 

You see, when this snowman [in the picture] fell off the window-sill, caused by a pout, a slam, and a storm of emotions overflowing…. Weakness breaking…. I was forced to take notice.  It had been quietly resting, un-noticed, for months, so unappreciated.  Seeing it in pieces forced me to look at it more closely, as if to see if the damage was beyond repair.  Never before did I look so closely at the colorful hand-crafted pieces.  Never before did I question its value.   Was it in the brokenness I could clearly see? 

Even though this snowman mishap occurred while my husband was working… It still made me think of him, and myself, and my own broken pieces, and children’s brokenness.  I remember.... it isn’t until we are broken, and weak, that we live through the Lord’s strength. Examining the broken pieces we are able to look more closely at the value…. Our value of ourselves, and the value of others around us.  We all have broken parts within us…. Are we living in our brokenness, with anger? Are we lashing out and breaking others around us in the process?  

Are we looking at the pieces with the hope of renewal and restoration?

My tribute to my husband of 22 years is to help strengthen him… as a helpmate, God asks us to help, and I’m assuming that means help “build,” in our marriage, and not destroy.  I have learned that anytime I am upset or angry at my husband, I need to stop and think of all the positive traits he has.  We ALL have beautiful, wonderful, strengths that God instilled within... Pray that God will help you see the "gifts" around you, and especially in your husband.  Instead of focusing on his negatives, and his weakness, I focus on the good, and on the positive; on the parts that are not broken… The things that God created within him. Sometimes I take a note-book and just start listing those positive things that I remember falling in love with.  It helps me.

We all have our weakness, and as husband and wives we balance one-another out.  He is my up when I am down… I am his free-spirit when he feels oppressed… He is my security when I’m feeling robbed… I remind him of hope when he is fearful…  He makes me smile when I want to cry… Often times we can't see this in each other until the dust settles... and the pieces are uncovered... and then we mend.  When we look to each-other for our  “other-half” and together look to God… We are strengthened.  

We are reminded in Ecclesiastes 4:12 “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

We are a cord of three strands.... My husband, myself and our Father, God.  I am, just like my husband, a child of God… a creation… formed for a purpose, we are a work in progress. Our earthly fathers have their weakness, but God in His perfect plan created us all for His glory, and purpose... Crafted at the potters hand....  God doesn’t make junk… People are not garbage to be tossed out when they are broken…  Only God can heal and mend the broken pieces…  God placed us together to help one-another through life.  We sort through the broken pieces, glue and mend, trust and build.  We are forever building, growing, changing, molding, withering, replenishing, and repurposing.

My husband often tells me that I am the glue that holds us all together… I tell him that he really is the glue… however, in reality, we both know, God is the glue that holds us together.  Jesus Christ, through His Holy Spirit, heals our broken hearts, helps us to endure, strengthens us, and sets our feet back on solid ground.  My husband and I, both are flawed, imperfect, and broken; God glues us together, piece by piece.   HE is the forever faithful.